I've been thinking a lot

mostly about the emergence of boyish sexuality in poetry. And mostly about how I always feel ashamed for my poetry being so sexual. I feel like that’s a cliche of male poetry. That there’s this confidence of expressing sex, that it’s this lifeblood expected of any half-baked writer with a cock. 

And then I also feel like I always kind of walk on eggshells when talking about why I write about boysex in my poems, and why I’m really in support of this “Boyesque” ideal. 

The only real acknowledgment of the Boyesque, that I’ve seen, was through this post on Montevidayo. And even then, I feel like this “Boyesque” is really limiting. Violence is an undeniable piece of sex. I’d argue that sex is just an acceptable(?) form of violence. I don’t think, though, that the Boyesque is just about being a monster. Which is the only part of Seth’s post that I find very problematic, and I think Lara Glenum, in her response, definitely has a different and really fucking cool desire for these “sassy male poets.” I think there’s something very sad about being a boy. Not even a Queer boy. I think being a boy sucks. Some Gurlesque poets want to be Monsters, or are Monsters.  My Boyesque is a monster that does not want to be one. Or isn’t one but is expected to be one and doesn’t want to. Or isn’t one and wants to be but can’t. 

Now before I get buttfucked by every Gurlesque poet this side of the equator, I guess I should preface the next part by saying that I, as a poet who is not Gurlesque, can obviously not speak for Gurlesque poets. I’m only speaking about the reactions on this Montevidayo post, and the thoughts I’ve come across when speaking to some of young glitter-bomb Gurlesque poets at my University. So if I offend or say something that is totally stupid or wrong about you or your craft please argue with me or tell me I’m a fucking moron.

I also think there’s a level of complexity in the violence propagated by Seth and his Boyesque ideal that isn’t ever really explored. I think the reason Boyesque is mocked may lie in the long held archetypes of masculinity that even Gurlesque poets seem unable to let go. Gurlesque takes advantage of this sort of forced performative aspect of femininity. Gurlesque holds it beneath its wet thighs and fucks it raw and then licks her fingers. Gurlesque is defiant. And Gurlesque does not think there should be a Boyesque because, perhaps to Gurlesque, it is obvious and expected for a boy to want to rape and lick his dirty fingers.

I think Nick Demske is one of the few poets that lives up to my ideal of the Boyesque. It’s awkward and stilted and very frustrated and boyish and there’s just a lot going on. I obviously have to do more research, but Seth’s post, and Joyelle’s follow up have really stuck out at me and it’s making me wonder about the different ideals and prejudices surrounding boy/gurl privilege in art.